The Tsaturyans: Zinnia Eve Tsaturyan

The night before I had Zinnia...

On Monday, August 22nd I had my friend Priya sub my morning yoga class. I still attended as a student, but I just wasn't up to teaching. Maybe I sensed that things were going to start happening. We went about our day as normal. Simon had a violin lesson at 4:00. Sevak took the girls out for a little outing around that time. Sevak's mom made dolma for dinner. During the evening I was starting to feel a little contraction action...they weren't just Braxton Hicks tightenings anymore. I texted my midwife at 7:13 to let her know that I thought something was brewing. I read the kids a bedtime story at 8:30ish and had a decent contraction during the story. I remember Rose saying something like, "Oh no, oh no..." in a worried way. Well, we put the kids to bed and I still wasn't totally sure that the baby was going to come that night. I put in some ear buds and listened to some guided meditations on YouTube to try to mentally prepare and relax. Meanwhile, Sevak was watching a German movie on his iPad. I guess he eventually texted Tammi, even though I wasn't sure if he should. I didn't do much timing of my contractions as I have done in the past. I'd been through this before; I didn't feel like bothering to jot things down...I just wanted to be focused on relaxing and letting things progress as they would. Sevak ended up calling Tammi at one point and he told her my contractions were like 10 minutes apart. Right after he hung up I had a pretty good one and threw up. Once I vomited I knew things were getting real so I told Sevak to tell Tammi to come. She must have gotten here slightly after 9:00. I was lying on my side with Sevak rubbing my back. I told Tammi that maybe my position was slowing things down because nothing was really happening when she arrived. A couple minutes later (I might have had a contraction first) I got onto my hands and knees and that's when things totally sped up. Things seemed faster and more intense than they did with Jasmine...maybe it's because this birth is fresher in my mind. But anyway, Sevak kept rubbing my back and he and Tammi kept saying encouraging words. Sevak's mom was watching on from the side...I wasn't aware of her presence at all because I was so overcome in the moment. I felt Zinnia coming into the birth canal and that's when my water broke. I didn't reach down to feel her head as I had when Jasmine was coming out of me...again, somehow things felt more intense and I just wanted to focus all my energy on getting the baby out. Well, it didn't take long for that to happen. Tammi actually told me to slow down the pushing a little bit; maybe she was afraid I would tear. Once Zinnia came out (10:04 p.m.), she started crying and I felt an instant relief and lightness. I asked Sevak if it was he or Tammi who "caught" Zinnia and he thinks she just kind of plopped onto the bed (it wasn't a far drop, and it was a soft one). :) Tammi slid Zinnia up near my hands and said, "here's your baby" or "take your baby" or something like that. I immediately grabbed her and kept breathlessly and emotionally repeating, "My baby, my baby." When Jasmine was born, I did not immediately hold her. I guess I was really zapped so we just kind of covered her with a towel until the midwife came (if you'll recall, the midwife arrived after Jasmine had already come out). I have to say, it was really nice to have that immediate connection with the little being I just pushed out of my body. This is of course totally different from the hospital experiences I've had where they just whisk the baby away as soon as (s)he's out. Speaking of differences between hospital vs. home, Zinnia's cord "cutting" was completely different from any of my previous births. Tammi helped me get the placenta out as usual, and then we just sat around for a long while chatting. There was absolutely no rush to cut the cord. We let it wait for an even longer amount of time than we had with Jasmine. Finally, Tammi and her helper-midwife Kathy (who arrived at some point after Zinnia came out) took two tapered candles and burned the cord. It was a rather lengthy process, but kind of beautiful and ritualistic. Supposedly, according to Chinese medicine, this method warms the digestive system or something. But I think it was more about just taking some time to honor the moment. It left Zinnia with a longer cord stub than usual, but it dried up pretty fast and fell off in five days. The midwives left at 12-something and Sevak, Zinnia, and I went to sleep in our bed! I kept thinking what a miracle it was that at dinner that evening I had no idea we would be going to sleep with a new family member that night!

At 7-something in the morning I woke up before Sevak and took Zinnia into the kids' room to show them their new sister. They were pretty amazed. Jasmine was the most excited of all and Simon said, "Is this a dream?" Rose was happy but not too quick to fawn over her new sister. She has since gotten over that uncertainty and loves holding Zinnia. All the kids love to touch her and hold her and say how cute she is. :) Jasmine has shown no jealousy over being replaced as the "baby."

I have to say (knock on wood), postpartum life has been a breeze. It's probably because I had a steady stream of helpers with Sevak's mom and my parents. Also, my other kids are older so they're not so needy. And my body is probably just used to this whole having-a-baby-thing by now. I had some afterpains for the first few days, my nipples have been sore, but nothing has really thrown me for a loop. I even got to go to an exercise class this morning and it felt good to get back in the game. Zinnia slept through the whole thing. She was probably used to the loud and fast music from doing Zumba with me throughout my pregnancy! The only thing is, my tummy is taking a longer time to get back to normal. Oh well. Time heals all wounds. :) We just love our girl!