Yesterday I went to the dentist, and during my cleaning I experienced quite a bit more bleeding than usual. The hygienist told me not to worry; I was just experiencing a case of “pregnancy gingivitis.” Apparently those good ol’ pregnancy hormones are the root of it. It’s kind of nice to have something on which to place the blame. Grumpy attitude? Pregnancy hormones, sorry. Falling asleep at work?* Darn those pregnancy hormones!
In fact, today the computers were misbehaving at the library and some of the customers were complaining. I almost told one patron, “Sorry, sir, but those pregnancy hormones are really taking a toll today.” Then I remembered that computers don’t have hormones. Shoot.
Other results of raging pregnancy hormones include: spontaneously crying at inappropriate times (i.e. during the film, The Return of Superman), bloating, fatigue, and “pregnancy glow” (If you’re picturing a beautiful beaming pregnant woman with soft, supple skin, picture again! “Pregnancy glow” is a euphemism for “THE WORST BREAKOUTS EVER.” It’s like referring to the deadly bubonic plague as a “bug.”).
Speaking of pregnancy, one of my students is also pregnant. It's fun to compare notes with her in our broken way. The other day she was trying to ask me a question about an "alfiler." I didn't understand, so she pointed to a safety pin on the inside corner of her pants. I smiled and showed her my makeshift "maternity pants" (rubberband through the button hole and around the button). She shook her head no; apparently I didn't understand the meaning of that mysterious safety pin. Well, her sister-in-law and fellow classmate explained to me in her broken English that the safety pin protects a baby during lunar eclipses. I guess if it weren't for the "alfiler," the baby would develop a cleft lip. Thank heavens I was informed of this now! According to astronomists, the next lunar eclipse is scheduled for February '08--shortly before the baby is born!
Okay, I was being sarcastic, but I have to admit that my students' remedies are really interesting. Some of us would call them "superstitiuous" or "ritualistic." Granted, I probably won't be putting safety pins in my pants, but I'm not too sure Western medicine is completely devoid of superstition or ritual, either.
Anyway, I digress. I better get back to work. I've been very unproductive lately. Pregancy hormones, sorry.
*I have actually never fallen asleep at work.
1 comment:
Hi Chrissie. This post was funny.I'm sure you have a beautiful pregnancy glow though. Grandma said you looked really cute with your little bumb.:)
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