I'm suffering from major fatigue and major senioritis, so needless to say, I haven't been the most devout student. Today I decided to buckle down and work on a paper for my class (I skipped class to do it--oh the irony). Anyway, I was in the library sitting across from a sleeping guy. Some girl sat down next to me and whispered, "That's crazy--I could never sleep in the library!" A few minutes later I saw her highlighter skid across the paper as her head bobbed up and down. She was fighting sleep. Again, oh the irony.
P.S. I feel really disconnected from the student body now. Maybe it's because I'm only in one class and maybe it's because I have two kids and am "older" than most undergrads, which are what my class consists of. Whatever the reason, it's a bit sad. I definitely feel like this phase of my life is coming to a close. My sister and I were commenting the other day how we've (but mostly I've) come to that point where it's a bit taboo for people to ask your age. Don't get me wrong, I have lots of life ahead of me...I guess reality has never hit me before. I keep thinking of this poem by Pierre de Ronsard in which he comments on the short span of a rose's bloom. The last few lines are the most memorable:
"Cueillez, cueillez votre jeunesse :
Comme à cette fleur, la vieillesse
Fera ternir votre beauté."
Which translates into something like this:
"Hold on to your youth
As upon this flower, old age
will tarnish your beauty"
Am I having a quarter-life crisis? :) I'm really not as depressed as this post sounds. On to bigger and better things, I suppose.
6 comments:
It's funny that just before I opened your blog, Chrissie, I read an email from a friend who gave me a big pep talk about starting new careers when you're middle-aged.
If YOU feel "old" sitting in a college class with a bunch of undergrads, how do you think I'll feel sitting in some with a bunch of 20-somethings?! I remember when I was 19, sitting in an Italian class that had a 50-something woman auditing it. I thought she was ancient and wondered, "Why does she want to be here?!" Now I know, now I know...
PS. Don't feel old!! ;)
sometimes I look at you and think, MAN that girl is old.
just kidding.
And I you, Dani...and I you.
Thanks for painting us that library scene! Wonder how long it took that girl to realize that she also slept while "studying"...
Sorry to hear about the disconnectedness you're experiencing. Who can blame you? Really! Sounds like there aren't a whole lot of classmates (if any) who are in your shoes right now. But just think, many of them are still searching for their eternal significant other. Many of them are a long ways off from having any beautiful babies. You already have two! Many of them are not going to live in France next semester. Many of them will never go on to graduate programs, whereas you're on the final stretch of your Masters! And, your husband is nearing the end of his MBA! I'm sure most of them would love to have accomplished what you already have!
One more thing, the feeling you have studying at BYU reminds me of what I felt at "Hug High School" in Reno, Nevada the summer of '97. I had already completed a full year at ASU but found myself having to take the ACT (even though I had already taken the SAT to get into the university!). The College of Education specifically required an ACT score (had I known that, I may have skipped out on the SAT altogether). So, during my summer near Tahoe taking care of my little nephew, I suddenly found myself in a room full of wanna-be college students--mainly 15 and 16-year-old high school students--and there I was, a few months shy of turning 20 years old! Felt like a strange dream, and I imagine that's what you're feeling now, like you have better things awaiting you and that somehow you got "cut and pasted" onto the scene.
Chrissie, I met Megan tonight, and she is so delightful! We had a great time. Rob really liked her. Too bad she's moving in 2 weeks!
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